


Until You Come Back Home

by Kamechan



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, i don't wanna live forever, omg im so in love with this song, songfic (kinda), zayn & taylor swift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 09:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8839144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamechan/pseuds/Kamechan
Summary: Based on the song "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" by Zayn & Taylor SwiftIt's been months since Clarke and Lexa broke up but these idiots are still incredibly in love with each other.They both have sleepless nights thinking about each other, and one night Lexa gets drunk and out of habit, tells the driver to go to Clarke's house instead of her own.A little angsty but there's still fluff I promise!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on AO3!!! aaaAHHHH let's hope this doesn't flop as hard as The 100 Season 4 is about to.
> 
>  _"I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain_  
>  _And I don't wanna fit wherever_  
>  _I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home."_  
>   
>  Serving up a hot dish of Clexa and Taylor Swift, everyone. Yum.  
> For reals tho, please please please take a look at the lyrics for this song they're MAGNIFICENT.  
> *casually inserts song lyrics into fic*

Lexa turns her head to look at the clock, lit dimly in the darkness that is enveloping her.

2:30 AM

The digital clock's green numbers burn into her eyes, staring silently into them and she thinks they're judging her. She would too.

She sighs, and rubs her face with her hands, disappointed with herself. _What is happening to her?_ Is she really staying up late yet again just to naively believe that Clarke —of all people—would call her? They have not spoken in months. They have not seen each other for months. And yet, every detail of Clarke is still so distinctly etched in her brain.

She chuckles darkly, the sound cutting through the still air of the night. Her heart aches to hear Clarke's voice again, to hear her laugh, to feel her skin against her own, to taste her lips like she had a thousand times before. Every bit of her longs for Clarke.

As she tries to make herself comfortable on the armchair, her mind wanders to thoughts of Clarke, and how stupid she was to push her away. Still, she selfishly wishes for Clarke to reach out, to call, to come rushing back into her arms, even though those were the same arms that had driven her away in the first place.

She finishes her glass of whiskey and wills the alcohol to numb the pain. As she feels herself slip away into sleep, she hopes to have a dreamless one—or at least one without Clarke in it.

"Please, Clarke," Lexa whispers, the image of her smiling face burned behind her eyelids.

As always, it never happens.

-O-

At the same time, a hundred miles away, Clarke lies wide awake on her bed. She doesn't spare a glance at the clock, knowing it is some ungodly hour from the silence outside her apartment. During quiet and still nights like these, the loneliness feels the worst.

She can't help but keep replaying the night a few months ago again and again in her mind. Should she have left Lexa like that? Should she have told Lexa that whatever they had was over with such finality? _Yes_ , her subconscious says, and Clarke squeezes her eyes shut. _Of course. You did what was right. You couldn't keep chasing her for commitment when she was so hesitant about giving it. She did this. She chased you away with her fear. You were right._

Then why did it feel so wrong?

Clarke's heart sits heavy in her chest, filled with doubts and regret.

 

_"You know what, don't ever talk to me again. Just don't. You treated me like-like I was some kind of dog that will always follow you around. You took me for granted, and I can't keep waiting around forever for you. Goodbye, Lexa."_

She remembers the way the door sounded as she shut it—the sound of their relationship ending, the sound of her heart breaking, even the feeling of the tremors of the door as it slammed shut, shaking her to the very core of her heart. The moment she had closed that door—put a barrier between them, she ran away with tears streaking down her face, not wanting Lexa to hear her sobs through the door.

 

Clarke sits up awake when she realizes that she had fallen asleep while reminiscing, and the memory of that incident had made her cry once again. Hastily wiping away the tear tracks, she closes her eyes and tries to go back to sleep, wondering if she'd dodged a bullet or just lost the love of her life.

"Lexa," she whispers, curling up in a fetal position, a part of her still unwilling to part with the green-eyed girl she had fallen in love with.

 

* * *

 

The next evening, Clarke and Lexa are forced to go to a club by their respective groups of friends.

"Clarke, it's time for you to quit mopin' around and start partying like the party girl we know you are," Raven says, sifting through Clarke's closet, trying to pick out something for Clarke to wear.

"Raven's right. And who knows? You might meet someone new there," Octavia smiles. Upon seeing the glare that Clarke was shooting at her, she laughs. "Come on. What are best friends for?"

Sighing, Clarke agrees—if only to placate her friends.

-O-

"Anya, I told you. I don't want to go," Lexa groans, burying her head in the pillow on the couch. "Lil sis, we have planned this for weeks, and now you tell me you don't want to go? Sorry, but that's not the answer I'm willing to hear." Anya slaps Lexa's arm and pulls the pillow roughly from Lexa's grip. "Go on, get ready. We don't have all day!"

Lexa grumbles and shoots a dark look at her sister, but rises from the couch anyway. She knows she can't get out of this.

Lexa downs shot after shot at the bar, even after her kru tries to stop her. "I came here. Now let me be."

She was drunk to the point of the shots not even leaving a burn down her throat any more. Idly, she thinks that she would have her worst hangover come morning, which is a pretty painful achievement in itself. Feeling a hand land on her shoulder, she shrugs it off.

"Screw off, Anya."

As she reaches for another shot, she is pushed from her seat. Unable to stable herself, she almost falls flat on the ground.

"Anya!" she growls, but her vision blurs.

"Lexa, I will not allow you to become like this. I know you're hurting, but please, for the love of God, stop this nonsense!" Anya shouts at her, shaking her shoulders violently. "You're going straight home, right after you down this bottle of water, you crazy lunatic."

Anya calls a cab and roughly orders Lexa to go home without any detours, worry etched into her features. "Call me when you get home," she shouts into Lexa's ear, hoping it gets through her alcohol-riddled mind.

Lexa stumbles out of the bar unsteadily, just as a group of people are going in. A flash of gold passes her and she whips her head around, but it is gone as fast as it came. She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind a little. The motion causes her to heave, spilling out most of the liquor she had downed. Just then, the cab arrives and she gets in, trying to rid her thoughts of golden hair.

-O -

Clarke walks into the Grounder bar together with her fam. As they get in through the door, she passes someone who resembles Lexa and tries to twist her head around to get a better look, but Octavia pulls her along. Octavia meets Lincoln's eyes and he gives a slight nod, indicating that Lexa was gone. She sighs in relief and grabs chairs for the gang.

Surrounded by her laughing friends, Clarke knows that she should be happy and enjoying herself. She tries her best to crack a smile, even lets out a chuckle every now and then, but her lips still turn downward as she looks around the bar, downing her drink. It warms her body but it fails to give her the satisfaction or joy it used to. She doesn't know what she would do if Lexa was here.

"Hey, why're you looking so sad, Princess?" Bellamy asks. "Loosen up. It's been so long since you've had fun."

Clarke groans internally, sick of all her friends' concern. Wanting to get out of her sadness though, she drinks a little more and lets the alcohol get rid of her pain, at least for awhile.

-O -

Lexa slumps a little in the backseat, eyes closing, until the cab driver clears his throat loudly and Lexa gets the hint. She drunkenly recites the familiar address, and finally is able to shut her heavy eyelids and fall into a deep but short-lived slumber. The cab driver wakes Lexa up with his loud throat-clearing again. She thrusts her wad of bills at him and stumbles out, losing her balance and crashing onto the ground. She groans, her world spinning and hurting. God, she was incredibly hammered. That was the last thought on her mind before she slips into unconsciousness. Her dream is filled with Clarke, Clarke and nothing else but Clarke.

That is precisely why she hates sleeping-staying up late into the night and only allowing her body to rest once she was tired enough-because when she sleeps, Clarke creeps into her dreams, and she feels alive. When she wakes up, however, the reality of the situation never fails to punch her right in the fucking face and she's hurting all over again. Day by day, this process repeats, chipping away at her sanity and Lexa simply can't take this pain any longer.

-O-

Clarke, having shifted her pain and regret and thoughts of Lexa towards the back of her mind, is pleasantly buzzed and flushed after having some alcohol in her system and dancing the night away with her loyal friends. When Raven starts getting just a little too tipsy by mistaking a fire extinguisher for a hot girl, they all unanimously agree that the night is over. Bellamy, ever the mother hen of the group, insists on driving everyone home in his SUV and Clarke is the last to be dropped off. Before the last turning to her house, Clarke stops Bellamy and says that she can walk home from here.

"If you say so, princess. Call me when you get home and don't forget to drink lots of water!" Bellamy exclaims out the car window, in a hushed tone so as not to rudely wake the neighbours.

"Yes, mom," Clarke laughs and waves him off. She walks down the sidewalk, watching her breath mist in the cold air and savouring the tranquillity of the world. She rounds the corner and is fishing around for her keys when she suddenly spots a motionless figure lying down in front of her apartment. She freezes in shock as her mind connects the familiar brown tousled curls to a certain someone.

"...Lexa?" she breathes, still in shock, her blue eyes widening.

A moment passes, then she runs to Lexa's side and checks her pulse and breathing, her own heart racing. The powerful, unpleasant smell of alcohol hits her and so does the acrid stench of puke. Clarke sighs in relief when she realizes that Lexa simply passed out due to over-intoxication. Her brow wrinkles as she looks down at Lexa's sleeping face. Her heart skips as she registers that this is the first time in months that she'd seen her. She leans over to smooth out the pained grimace on Lexa's face. It used to be peaceful, she thinks, seven months ago...  

 

Clarke wakes first. It is a rare incident, and she takes the time to enjoy it by turning over to appreciate Lexa's serene face, free of any worry or sadness. After all, she did have her entire world in her arms. Clarke reaches over to trace Lexa's jawline, treading her fingers through her soft, luscious flowing curls and lining the shape of her pouty lips. As she was doing so, Lexa's lips twitch beneath her touch and she draws her hand back in surprise, but her wrist is encircled by Lexa's long fingers. "Keep doing that," Lexa smiles, her eyes still closed. She draws Clarke's hand closer back to her face. Clarke spends the entire morning savouring Lexa, and Lexa doesn't complain. She smirks a lot, though.

-O-

When Lexa wakes, the first thing she notices is the ridiculously intense pain throughout her body. Her ears are ringing and there is a relentless pounding, piercing pain in her head. Her mouth tastes like shit and her body aches as though she had spent the entire night running a marathon. The second thing she notices is that she must be in heaven, because right in front of her eyes is an angel. An angel with golden hair slumped over Lexa's midsection on the couch.

"Clarke," Lexa mutters weakly, tears welling up in her eyes as she realizes she's awake and Clarke... _her_ Clarke is right in front of her. She pinches herself to make sure she's not dreaming.

"Lexa..." Clarke murmurs in her sleep, startling Lexa so much she almost falls off the couch. "Mmm. I'm s-sorry..."

Lexa notices a stray tear making its way out of Clarke's closed eye and she hastens to wipe it away with her thumb, staring intensely at the wetness on her finger, still trying to make sure this isn't a dream. "Clarke," Lexa says, gently shaking Clarke's shoulder to wake her up from her seemingly agonizing slumber.

"Huh?" Clarke looks around blearily and her eyes land on Lexa, whose face is just mere inches away from her own. She scrambles back, falling onto the rug with a small thump.

"Hey. I can't remember much of what happened last night so... may I ask how I ended up here?" Lexa tries to keep her tone light and polite so as not to scare Clarke away. She wants to make amends with Clarke, even profess her undying love for her, but she knows that broken trust can't be mended in a day. She is determined to wait for Clarke. For as long as it takes for her to convince Clarke that she is here to stay. As she locks gazes with Clarke, greedily drinking in those cerulean eyes she'd lost countless hours of sleep for, watching as Clarke tentatively tells her how she had found her knocked out at her front door, she knows that she doesn't need to go anywhere else because she's _home_.

 


End file.
